Learn + Explore + Share

Explore: Meditation

As a follow-up to my post earlier this week, this annotated list describes the sources I cited in Learn: Meditation along with a few additional resources for further exploration.

In Teach Yourself to Meditate in 10 Simple Lessons, Eric Harrison uses simple language to describe core practices of meditation, including breathing, posture, body awareness and detachment. He also discusses using mantras, visualization and other techniques for deepening a meditation practice. You
can learn about Harrison's Perth Meditation Centre and read his magazine articles here.

John Hudson's Meditation: Simple Steps to Peace, Well-Being and Contentment offers cursory overviews of exercises, postures and guided programs for meditation. Hudson outlines ways to apply the meditative state in various situations (e.g., improving self worth, learning confidence, making decisions and improving creativity). 

 The Miracle of Mindfulness is Buddhist monk Thích Nhãt Hanh's foundational manual, which fluidly covers the philosophy of mindfulness―complete awareness―as well as meditation exercises. Visit Plum Village online to explore Thích Nhãt Hanh's work further.

In The Not So Big Life: Making Room for What Really Matters Most, architect, writer and "cultural visionary" Sarah Susanka uses simple exercises and inspiring stories to reveal that we already have all the space and time we need in order to live meaningful lives. The book's eighth chapter, "Creating a Place and a Time of Your Own," discusses mindfulness, solitude and still time or meditation. Chapter eight's web page offers links to additional resources including where to find meditation timers Susanka recommends in the book.

Meditation teacher and author Jon Kabat-Zinn's bestselling Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life presents an easy-going introduction to engaging mindfully in life's moments. Kabat-Zinn describes mindfulness as purposeful and nonjudgmental awareness and offers meditation―conscious and intentional "non-doing"―as a way to practice mindfulness. This site lists links to several of Kabat-Zinn's various talks on mindfulness topics, including this well-known session he presented to Google in October 2007.

Earlier this week, Brad left a comment mentioning Centering Prayer, a form of Christian meditation. You can read more about this approach at these sites:

Journey Center

Centering Prayer in Reading (Pennsylvania)

Contemplative Outreach Pittsburgh

 

Are you someone who practices meditation, Centering Prayer or another form of being still? I am interested in hearing about your experiences or your concerns. Comment here or send me a tweet.

"By focusing inward for a short period each day, we can truly become
human beings rather than human doings."
―Sarah Susanka, The Not So Big Life

John

Share: Grieving Gramps

Six months ago today, my 86-year-old grandpa died at home on a beautiful early-Spring afternoon. None of his six kids was in the house at the time. The hospital bed loaned to our family by the local hospice center was positioned in the sunny dining room of the house where my grandparents had lived together for nearly 50 of their 63½ years of marriage. In Grandpa's last moments, Carol, my grandparents' caretaker, was changing the music CD and I was talking with my grandma about the music that was about to begin, reminding her that before her stroke she had bought the artist's sheet music and had been learning to play it on piano. That is when Grandpa took his last breath.

During Grandpa's last ten days, I came to understand that death, just like life, is a miracle. How wondrous that a human can be present, breathing laboriously, unable to swallow or open his eyes or lift his head or limbs … and in a moment, the labor of life, the hard work of dying is another task complete, an accomplishment, an almost immediate transition from "is" to "was," a reflection on a life well-lived.

On one of Grandpa's last weekends, the house bustled with relatives and friends who had come to reminisce and say goodbye. With all the activity, I had to be watchful in order to snatch a moment alone with Gramps. Each time I did, all I could think to say was, "I love you." Even when he was no longer able to return my love verbally, I felt his love communicated through his eyes. What more is there?, I wondered. In the end, I decided, it's all about relationships.

Hundreds of people attended Grandpa's Friday morning funeral in my small hometown. Afterwards, my extended family spent the weekend together at the house, almost like a holiday. Most of us went back to our homes at the end of the weekend. I tried to focus on my own daughters, and I tried to get back to my regular routines.

But I thought constantly of my grandpa. Over and over, I replayed the simple, now-sacred moments I had spent with Gramps during those last ten days. You see, a friend had loaned our family a copy of Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by hospice workers Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. I read Final Gifts swiftly, wanting to finish it before Grandpa died so I wouldn't miss any messages or opportunities. Repeatedly, the authors described dying people who wanted to know what would happen physiologically as they died. I believed that Grandpa wanted to know this but was unable to ask. I believed he was afraid but would never have admitted it.

And so I took it upon myself to try to put Grandpa at ease. Quietly, calmly, lovingly, I whispered to him that his body was worn out, his heart and lungs were tired; I promised Gramps that we would care for Grandma. I whispered that when he was ready, his heart would stop beating and his lungs would stop working and (consistent with his personal beliefs) that he would go to heaven to get ready for Grandma’s arrival. I told Grandpa that we would try to keep him from hurting. And with each short conversation, I said with deep honesty and emotion, "I love you. I love you so much."

Maybe these secret conversations explain why grief weighed so heavily on me for weeks after Grandpa's death. Probably my grief was "normal." I grieved losing the Grandpa who called me Peach when I was little, who always gave me a hug and a smooch, who was always glad to see me and always concerned about me (and my family … and the reliability of my car). I grieved the memories of Grandpa driving my sister and me the few blocks to school when our parents were on vacation and we stayed at Grandma and Grandpa's. I grieved over the times Grandpa took me fishing and camping and even to Colorado to go downhill skiing with Grandma and him. I grieved over every ten-dollar bill Gramps slipped to me during college as he walked me to my car, saying "Don’t tell Grandma" with a wink. I grieved at the memory of seeing him out of bed for the last time, eating a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone.

Since Grandpa died I have survived the seasons changing from spring to summer and summer to fall. Earlier this month I mourned what would have been Grandpa’s 87^th birthday. Thanksgiving and Christmas will come. Fall will turn into winter and winter again to spring, bringing the first anniversary of Grandpa’s death. Though my grief has lightened, I don’t know that it will ever go away. I love my Grandpa. I love him so much.

   

Gramps & me, September 2010. Photo (c) Jennifer Tchida

 

Learn: Meditation

To be clear, when I write these Learn posts, I write from the perspective of a learner myself. I am not an expert on any particular topic but use L+E+S to present topics I find valuable. I collect information from a variety of sources and link to them whenever possible. With that said, I will proceed to present the topic of meditation.

Though I have been interested in meditation for many years, I only began meditating on a fairly regular basis earlier this year. As many proponents suggest it will do, meditation has brought a measure of clarity to my life―not every day and certainly not all day long―but I have found that I can more easily listen to my mind (or my soul, if you will) when I have consistently spent some time in meditation.

What Is Meditation?

The dictionary offers two definitions of meditate: the first has to do with thought and contemplation; the second is "to engage in quiescent spiritual introspection." Meditation instructor and author Eric Harrison writes that one key to meditating is to focus on sensing rather than thinking. By turning our focus toward sensing, writes Harrison, we are able to harness stillness, detach from our thoughts and do our best to think of nothing. Writer John Hudson describes meditation as "relaxed attentiveness." Another way to think about meditation is to imagine applying a filter to your world that blocks out the busyness and the big noise to allow you to sense the calm, quiet and small elements in your world.

The Benefits of Meditation

Harrison outlines benefits of meditation to both physical and mental health, with stress reduction at the top of the list. Sarah Susanka, whose book The Not So Big Life prompted me finally to try meditation, writes that regular meditation can help reduce turmoil in one's life, improve clarity and increase the occurrence of synchronicities.

Where & When to Meditate

While it may seem challenging to find a quiet place in which to meditate, consider that you need only enough space for you to sit comfortably for at least 15 minutes. (Harrison recommends at least 15 minutes. Susanka suggests working up to at least 20 minutes. Thích Nat Hãnh suggests 20 to 30 minutes for beginners.) Susanka recommends meditating at the same time in the same place each day, advising that it's best to meditate when you have more energy, not when you're physically and mentally tired.

How to Meditate

I've augmented Harrison's short list of basic meditation instructions with information from additional sources (italicized):

1. Prepare (find a comfortable place where you won't be interrupted).

Various sources describe slightly different sitting positions and hand positions. I position my sit bones on a yoga block and cross my legs with my knees basically resting on the floor. I vary my hand positions depending on how my back is feeling.

2. Shift from Thinking to Sensing.

"The technique for obtaining [total] rest," writes Thích Nhãt Hanh, "lies in two things―watching and letting go: watching your breath, and letting go of everything else."

3. Focus on the Breath.

Susanka advises to avoid engaging in any thoughts that arise. "Just focus on the breath," she writes, "and leave [the thoughts] alone."

4. Count the Breaths.

"Counting alone is not enough," warns Harrison. "You still have to consciously feel the breaths or you'll get lost in thought easily. Counting
is just a way of pointing you at the breath."

5. Notice the Signs of the Body Relaxing.

Thích Nhãt Hanh advises to "release every muscle in your body."

6. Name the Distractions.

Harrison describes this as a way of being alert yet detached. Thích Nhãt Hanh might describe Naming the Distractions as "watching and letting go."

7. Emerge Slowly.

Slowly open your eyes and become aware of your surroundings, advises Harrison. Maintain your attention and detachment for a few moments before you end your meditation.

Meditating "Correctly"

Harrison writes, "Meditation implies relaxation, but relaxation doesn't imply meditation. Any time you sit [in meditation], you'll actually alternate between these two. In the moments when you're consciously focused and watching, you're meditating. When you're losing it a bit and drifting away, you're just relaxed."
In a good meditation session, he writes, you'll meditate about half the time and just relax the other half. Sometimes your ratio will change in one direction or the other. While it's good to evaluate how your session goes, I think it's counterproductive to compare one session to another. Meditation is about being aware of what's in front of you, and that means being aware of the present session, not yesterday's or tomorrow's.

If you are interested in learning more about meditation, start with the sources

I've linked to above. In a post later this week, I will list a few more sources for further exploration. Do you already meditate or practice being still? I am interested in hearing about your experiences or your concerns. Comment here
or send me a tweet.

 

Share: Monday (Comeback) Music

Early last summer, I was listening to my favorite radio station when I thought I heard the DJ announce a new song by Devo. I drove along in disbelief and, before long, I learned I hadn't heard wrong: After a 20-year haitis, Devo had released a new studio album, Something for Everybody, and "Fresh," the first single I heard, sounded pretty good. Do you agree?

About a year after Devo had me dumbfounded, the Cars came back with their first album since 1987. (Not being a Cars fan, I'm not embedding a song. If you want, you can listen to tracks from their Move Like This release here.)

The Red Hot Chili Peppers didn't have as big a gap when they came back last month with their first album since 2006. Here's a video of their first single from
I'm With You:

 

And even more recenlty, Jane's Addiction has released a new single from the new album that will be available October 18. The Great Escape Artist will be the group's first CD since 2003. This is a 30-second excerpt from the new single (listen to the whole thing on their site here):

 

The singles from both the Chili Peppers and Jane's Addiction sound, to me, less loose and raw than their older music. After my initial disappointment, I've come to appreciate this new music and have decided that if the groups are changing their sound, that's fine with me. Sometimes people, or music groups, just need to change things up a little bit. I haven't listened to any of the other tracks yet, so maybe I'll find the more "raw" sound I was expecting. For now, I'm enjoying what's on the radio and am glad to celebrate with this small, virtual "comeback concert."

 

 

Share: "Friday Five" Love List

This morning I feel a sense of clarity and peace about the activities I'm choosing to fill my life. I am grateful for a week in which areas of my life seem to be aligning to create my Big Picture. My love list follows:

• I love the wonderfully kind, supportive and encouraging Chookooloonks Path Finder online community, on both Chookooloonks.com and
  twitter (#chookfinder).
• This is somewhat duplicative, but I love the rewarding interactions I've had this week on Google+ and on twitter (I tweet about grief here and about learning + exploring + sharing here).
• I love that my almost-12-year-old daughter, who had Selective Mutism
  as a preschooler and kindergartener, auditioned for a middle school play this week.
• I love incorporating my Light Words in my daily mind mapped
  to-do lists.
• I love that (finally) our new egress window is being installed today. (The photo below shows what it looks like now, "before.")

What are you loving in your life? Share your love list with me here or on twitter. I'd love to find out what you're grateful for. Have a great weekend!

What ELSE (Explore Learn Share Etc.) Wednesday

Life seems to be moving at lightening speed these days; I am cramming so much into my days. Here is how I'm filling my time with meaning:

Through a wonderful e-course presented by gifted writer and photographer Karen Walrond, I'm exploring the dreams and possibilities that lie on my life path. In an earlier post, I described how I discovered my Three Things:
the Learn + Explore + Share focus of my blog. Karen's Path Finder course is helping me dig deeper and further actualize my Three Things, which have now expanded to include create and move (exercise and be physically active). Karen calls these "light words" with the idea that these are the activities that light us up and lend purpose and meaning to our lives. (By the way, Karen is offering a late fall Path Finder course, for which registration will open in mid-October.)

Aside from learning about myself and my "light words," through the Path Finder course I have also learned how to do "mind mapping." Karen had blogged about mind mapping in the past, and I had made mental note to give it a try but had never gotten around to it. Now that I've tried mind mapping, I am hooked!

I'm sharing this quiet, almost meditative, video that I found here, on a fellow Path Finder's blog.

Etc.): With my mind boggling and my heart bubbling, I am amazed by the number of talented people on the web tweeting, blogging, creating videos and sharing art and photographs with the world. Rock on.

What ELSE? What have you been exploring or learning? What do you have to share, (etc.)? Leave a comment or send me a tweet!

 

Share: (Belated) "Friday Five" Love List

Yes, it's Sunday, not Friday, but it's never too late for gratitude. This is what I loved making time for during the past week:

• I had a good time one evening with friends for a long overdue dinner at Moscow on the Hill.
• I loved creating a vision board for my Chookooloonks Path Finder "homework."
• I felt energized after an awesome yoga workout one morning and a rewarding run in my new shoes another morning.
• I treasured having conversations with my 11-year-old; snuggling with my 8-year-old; and exchanging emails with my mom.
• I enjoyed eating my favorite chocolate cake here, playing Scrabble and savoring an impromptu living-room dance to "At Last" with my hubby.

I hope you've had a great weekend! Share your love list with me here or on twitter. I'd love to find out what you're grateful for.

 

Learn: Create Time, Don't Kill Time

One of my goals for this year has been to "make time," to carve out more time to do what's important to me. I've been surprised at my success with this goal. This is basically what I've been doing to make it happen:

• Each weekday I try to meditate for 15 or 20 minutes to tune in to what's most important. (If meditation isn't your thing, just try to be still. Or spend some quiet time free writing. Maybe go for a walk. Find something quiet and solitary that helps you sort out your key priorities. I recommend spending at least 10 minutes for this.) For years, I had been afraid to try meditating because it sounded so "out there" to me. Reading about "still time" in Sarah Susanka's book The Not So Big Life finally got me to give it a shot, and I am grateful that I did.
• Until I've taken time to meditate, I try to keep electronic devices off. The destraction and false urgency of e-mail and social media can throw me off track. If I can't meditate early in the day, I work to convince myself that any messages or computer tasks can wait for another 20 minutes. Advising not to touch e-mail for the first full hour of the workday, organizing and time management expert Julie Morgenstern writes in her book Never Check E-mail in the Morning that spending your first hour focusing on your highest priority gives you control over your day instead of your day controlling you.
• While I have always been a list-maker, in the past week I have followed Karen Walrond's advice to carry my to-do list with me everywhere I go. It's been great to have my list with me when a new task comes to mind or when I can cross things off when I have a spare minute.
• Rather than thinking about time (and tasks or projects) as big chunks,
  I have been thinking of time as small slices. If I have 5 minutes "to kill,"
  I scan my list to consider how to spend those five minutes. I might jot down notes for a project, sketch an idea or gather supplies or ingredients for something I'll be doing a little later in the day.

There has not been a single day when I have completed every last item on my list. Following this strategy, though, I find that I accomplish more of what I want
to do. I waste less time and I spend less energy grumbling about not having enough time.

How about you? Can you offer tips for creating time or managing time? Share your ideas in the Comments below or send me a tweet.

 

Make Time (c) Heather Koshiol, 2011. (mixed media)

Share: Fast "Friday Five" Love List

For this "short" holiday week, I offer an abbreviated gratitude list:

• I love that my daughters enjoyed a great first week back at school.
• I loved eating a perfectly ripe and tasty peach for an afternoon snack.
• I love my new navy blue pen. (Oh dear! It looks like my new favorite pen has been discontinued!)
• I loved hearing Ryan Adams's cover of the Oasis song "Wonderwall" this afternoon on my favorite radio station.
• I loved this week full of lovely autumn weather: cool at night and in the morning, comfortably warm all afternoon.

Have a great weekend! Share your love list with me here or on twitter. I'd love to
find out what you're grateful for.

 

What ELSE (Explore Learn Share Etc.) Wednesday

Welcome to the first Wednesday of back-to-school bliss! It's only school-day two, but my girls have quickly gotten back in step and reported that day one went great. Keeping busy on my own, this is a bit of what I'm doing:

I'm exploring a new-to-us way of organizing school papers and to-do lists. The day after I read this piece about using inboxes and wipe-off boards, my girls spotted some cute dry-erase boards as we were walking through Target. (I don't see the exact boards online. They're sort of like this but white with one-inch colored borders; we each chose a different color along with some colorful dry-erase markers.) Now colorful lists decorate our fridge door, and instead of telling the girls what task to do, I say, "check your list" and let them choose what's next. Though I also bought inboxes, I'm not sure if they will work for us where they hang near the back door. I hate to clutter up the fridge even more, but I think magnetic inboxes would work best for our homework system.

As I re-learn how my alarm clock works and memorize new bus schedules,
I am also learning to get back to invaluable routines I let slide over the summer: weekday meditating and morning journaling along with regular workouts at
the gym.

I'm sharing news that Damon Albarn of the Gorillaz and Blur is working with musicians local to the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) on an album called Kinshasa One Two to be released in October. The album's profits will benefit Oxfam’s work in the DRC, which aims to improve clean water access and sanitation along with supporting human rights and ending conflict in the region.

 

 

Etc.): Today I'm planning to tackle number two on this simplify-your-life list. I'm a little nervous to take action, but it's the right thing for me to do. Having publicly announced my plan, I will pick up the phone as soon as I click PUBLISH ...

What ELSE? What have you been exploring or learning? What do you have to share, (etc.)? Leave a comment or send me a tweet!