Learn + Explore + Share

Learn: 3 Keys to Living Your Life's Purpose

Throughout her long and winding online lecture on what she calls the "Three Purpose Activation Keys," scholar and philosopher Dr. Jean Houston told stories about her childhood, her work with renowned anthropologist Margaret Mead and her cultural experiences around the world. What Houston learned through her journeys and studies about living life with vivid purpose boils down to these three guiding principles:

Open yourself to limitless possibility. To me, this means asking your heart what it truly loves and actively nurturing your heart's passions. (If you have a clear idea of your passions and goals: That’s great. If your passions have seemed elusive, in Explore: Your Heart I offer guidance in discovering your heart’s true path.) Opening yourself to limitless possibility, to me, also means acknowledging your fears and your criticisms … and then walking courageously past them—or over them!—on your heart’s true path. (Read Learn: Identify Your Creativity Fears for more on the topic of fear.)

Open yourself to your important role in the world. Thinking about the world, the whole entire world, can be daunting. My preference is to consider my small corners of the world: my life, my family, my circle of friends, my neighborhood, my community. Zooming in on my piece of the world helps me realize that I can play an important role, that I can make a difference. As psychotherapist Dawna Markova suggests, ask yourself "Where do my passions meet the needs of my community?" (Discover more discerning questions in Learn: 3 Ways to Your Heart's True Path.)

Connect to your larger story. My understanding of this key is that Houston means connecting with the universe—or the spirit of the universe—as a whole. In her recent book Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, life coach Martha Beck writes about the concept of what she calls Oneness, "the subjective awareness that there is no separation between [you] and everything else in the universe." Beck recommends watching this TED talk by brain researcher Jill Bolte Taylor to hear about Taylor’s moving experience of recognizing our universal interconnectedness.

 

In short, Houston's advice on living a life with a strong purpose is for us to open our hearts for connection ... to possibility, to the world and to the universe. How are you connecting with your purpose and possibility? How are you engaging with your community and the universe around you? Leave a comment below, send me a note via twitter or share your perspective on the L+E+S community Facebook page. 

 

Learn: Quantity Time Nurtures Quality Moments

Something in my memory shone on a dimly lit reference to the importance of quantity time as opposed to quality time, running contrary to more common advice. Wanting a brighter view, I set out to back up the notion that quantity trumps quality.

What I found (or, rather, didn't find) is mildly surprising. Plenty of bloggers cite their quantity vs. quality beliefs in conversations about choosing to work at home or not. Other bloggers share opinions that quality time really is important. But I didn't discover a room full of professionals touting either position.

This clinical report from the American Academy of Pediatrics comes closest to declaring any position at all. The article looks at the importance of free play in children, explaining that when kids are over-scheduled, "… parents lose the opportunity for perhaps the highest-quality time with their children. Some of the best interactions occur during downtime—just talking, preparing meals together, and working on a hobby or art project, playing sports together, or being fully immersed in child-centered play."

Reflecting on this excerpt and thinking about my own interactions with my kids has led me to conclude that quality time sprouts in "quantity time" fields. Without a vast field that can foster spontaneous moments of pure quality, quality time (think a day's visit to an adventure park) looks like a potted plant sitting alone on a shelf. A potted plant might be nice to look at, but it's disconnected, needing only a little water now and then. A field, on the other hand, requires vigorous tending: sowing, weeding, watering, fertilizing … you get the picture.

More often than not, for example, my family eats dinner together. Usually, our dinner conversation is banal. Sometimes, though, one of our daughters will ask a question that flowers into something meaningful. Pure quality. If we didn't regularly sit together at the table, the meaningful conversations wouldn't happen.

It's not just in parenting that we tend these fields but in all our relationships. Not every conversation with a friend brims with quality, but every now and then a gem shines between us that we can hold up and admire and say, "Wow. It's great to be able to talk like this with you."

So I think we need to put in the time. Tend our fields. Let quantity time nurture quality moments and treat those sprouts with care, respect and true attention.

 

Learn: The Importance of Play

Planning a four-day getaway to a northern Minnesota State Park led me to the topic of play. After thinking about taking a break from blogging, I wanted nothing more than to blog about taking a break. So from this breezy "office" full of majestic white and red pines, I will offer what I’ve been learning about the importance of play.

What Is Play?

"If its purpose is more important than the act of doing it, it's probably not play," says Stuart Brown, Ph.D. in his TED talk. Brown, a psychiatrist, researcher and founder of the National Institute for Play, asserts that we humans are "designed to play through our whole lifetime." He explains the importance of play in establishing trust, developing problem solving skills, learning self-discipline and adaptability and experiencing happiness.

In his talk, Brown mentions a few types of play, including body play, object play and social play.

Body Play. A regular workout at the gym certainly falls under physical activity, but if you exercise mainly for the purpose of fitness and not "just for the fun of it," it's not play. Go for an evening walk, ride your bike around the block or join a game of tag with your kids. That's body play. In her book Permission to Play, yoga instructor and writer Jill Murphy Long cites the scientifically acknowledged connection between physical activity and "feelings of well-being."

Object Play. On a recent blog post, Brené Brown, Ph.D. (no relation to Stuart Brown), a writer and research professor in the field of social work, recognizes that it's okay to set work aside and putter around her house or edit photos. These activities are her important play. Other forms of object play may involve playing board games, doing puzzles, curating collections, cooking or crafting. Object play helps us learn problem solving.

Social Play. Team sports, book clubs, girls' nights and dinner parties. You get the idea. During social play, along with having fun, we practice self-control. Making time for social connections also contributes to our mental health. The opposite of play, cautions Dr. Stuart Brown, is not work but depression.

Make Play a Part of Every Day

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection, Dr. Brené Brown discusses the importance of "letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol of productivity and worth." In order to enjoy valuable play, we must let go of the idea that we're too busy to "waste time." Play is a vital activity, no matter our age.

For me, these northwoods will soon transform from office to playground. I have trails to hike, books to read, games to play and a pontoon boat on which to relax. I have work play to do.

                                  Northwoods pines taken with my iPhone 3GS

 

Welcome to Learn + Explore + Share

This blog has come about as part of my journey toward discovering my true path in life. The name Learn + Explore + Share reflects three categories of activities I enjoy most:

1. Limitless learning would be my ideal career if I could earn a living as a fulltime college student.
2. Exploring is something I have recently tried consciously to incorporate into my life—whether it means taking a different-than-usual route to get somewhere or vacationing in a not-yet-visited place.
3. Sharing and connecting meaningfully with with friends and family makes me just plain happy.

At Learn + Explore + Share you can expect to read about my endeavors to make learning, exploring and sharing part of my everyday life. I plan to post personal narratives about my experiences, lists of ideas, and links to resources and other great stuff.

While I may be on my life's true path, I am continually wondering where that path will lead. I am learning to listen to my heart in order to help me stay on my true path. I am exploring my options and trying to stay open to possibility. And with Learn + Explore + Share I am beginning to reach out to share and connect with like-minded people. People like you. People with whom I can learn even more, explore even further and share beyond the boundaries of my physical community.

Welcome to the journey!
Heather