Around the same time I started L+E+S, my 8-year-old and I were in the car on an errand. On that sunny spring day, the windows were wide open as we drove, and Allison wistfully commented, "I wish I could grab air." Having so recently started blogging, I was hyper aware of our interaction and recognized her wish as the golden moment it was. "What would it feel like?" I asked. "I don’t know," she responded. "What would you do with it?" I probed. Her matter-of-fact answer came quickly, "Put it in a jar. Or a bouncy house."
That afternoon, my heart brimmed with wonder at my daughter's perspective and her simple joy about the air that constantly surrounds us, whether it's running through our fingers or stale and stagnant in our house during winter. What one thing would I want to "grab" and "put in a jar?" I asked myself.
Initially, my ideas focused on my grandpa who had died six weeks earlier. I imagined bottling up the experience of hugging and smooching him and feeling his love any time I wanted to. How awesome it would be, I thought, to be able to visit a loved one outside of time.
All summer long, I have pondered what I'd want to put in my jar. Yes, I miss Grandpa's love, but what about the love surrounding my children, husband, best friends, parents, sister …
What I would really want, I decided, was all that love distilled to the most pure love, the essence of Pure Love.
Pure Love would be soothing, comforting, warm, strong, secure, unwavering, true and authentic. It would feel like the softest plush fabric, the most tender flesh of a baby. It would look like the straightest line, the most awesome mountain, the most delicate flower. It would smell like the freshest air and, at the same time, like home and comfort and good memories. It would taste like the most luscious chocolate cake, the most decadent cream, the most perfectly ripe raspberries and my grandma's chocolate chip cookies. Pure Love would exude strength and permanence and infinity like I imagine the Great Wall of China does.
Embedded in the essence of Pure Love would be all of humanity; entrenched in Pure Love would be the pains and joys of the world. Interwoven with the heavens, Pure Love would be entwined with the past, present and future of the universe.
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For now, I am satisfied with the idea of bottling up Pure Love. But I will continue to ask myself what I would to put in a jar for anytime access, thanks to Allison's 8-year-old open mind and that elusive springtime air streaming through her innocent hand.
© 2011 Heather M. Koshiol